sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
