I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
