what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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