Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
