My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
My liver just had a heart attack.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
