I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
