Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
