He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
