i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
