i just google imaged poop.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
