problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
