He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm bleeding and have questions
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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