I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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