i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
