Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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