i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
