Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
