In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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