I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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