i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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