turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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