there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
