sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
