we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
