I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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