I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize