I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
