So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
