you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
