I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
