so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
