there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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