Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
