Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
