well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
