I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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