guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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