toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
40s are totally the cure
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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