i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
