My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
of course. lets lasso hookers.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
