walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
