I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
