Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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