I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
