So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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