We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
