I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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