Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
