Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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