does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We have so much sex to catch up on
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
