It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
